A Lacrosse Story of Connection and Support with the HEADstrong Foundation

Intro

SPEAKER_04 0:32

Welcome, welcome, welcome to another episode of In the Crease with Danny and Kevin, a coast-to-coast discussion of D2 Monts Across. I'm your co-host, Kevin Stenstrom, and with me as always is our own YouTube influencer, Danny Moran. Hey, Danny.

SPEAKER_00 0:51

Kevin, you are a funny man. How's it going tonight in Northern Virginia, my friends?

SPEAKER_04 0:55

It's going great. Like I have to admit, just a shameless plug for people to watch you on YouTube. That's all it is.

SPEAKER_00 1:03

We gotta keep shaving.

SPEAKER_04 1:05

Got a website, yeah. No, you look great. You look great. We gotta remember to keep the same shirt if we break up the podcast. That's what's kind of funny.

SPEAKER_00 1:15

Yeah, that's that's another thing. See, see what you're doing to me? You're putting so much pressure on me. I gotta remember.

SPEAKER_04 1:20

No pressure, man. No pressure, no pressure.

SPEAKER_00 1:22

But everything's all good here in New York City today. We had a beautiful fall day. And I thought this song would be a little apropos for tonight. It was like a perfect day here in New York City, like 66, 67 degrees. Beautiful mud in the sky. Really nice. I like this kind of part of the year of the fall when it's not too cold, but it's not, you know, super, super crisp.

SPEAKER_02 1:56

Crisp in the morning.

SPEAKER_00 1:57

Yeah, you know, it's okay. I like that. But uh had a nice weekend of lacrosse, Kevin. Went to see uh some fallball at Adelphi over the weekend. Yeah, they were playing Navy. I wanted to come, but I was at a wedding. They played Navy, and Kevin, I couldn't believe the amount of people that were at this fall ball screen on a Sunday in October. You know what I mean? And I'm telling you, the place is packed, and it was it was fun to watch. I saw some friends and uh a lot of people there. Kyle Lewis is there, and I think he's a graduate uh assistant there now. And uh at halftime, all the tournament kids, the little kids from the tournament games were coming back and watching the game, and uh Kyle was giving out the autographs, and it was cool. So it was a good day lacrosse, got me excited to see live lacrosse. Really haven't seen it in a while. So it was good. Delphi looks good, Navy looks good, you know. Yeah, that's exciting stuff. Yeah, it was.

SPEAKER_04 2:53

I wish you could have been there. It was a fun afternoon. I was off in West Virginia for a wedding. It was rainy in the morning, but turned out pretty nice, but pretty cold. It was like high 40s, so it was a little bit difficult. But Danny, I'm really excited about this episode. I think your music kind of really did the trick for this episode because I think it points to hope. Hope in a lot of ways. And what we have today is an episode with some people that with a foundation that is dedicated to helping people. You know, I there are a lot of nonprofits out there dedicated to raising funds to cure cancer, and that is phenomenal. I've been doing that for many, many years. You know, I did it coaching marathons, trying to train people to to run marathons and raise money for leukemia and lymphoma and the mel melanoma research. But and that is really looking to the future, and that's great. But there's people that are in the midst of it. Like living it day to day that makes it so tough financially, emotionally, right? There's so many things that you have to deal with as you're going through that cancer journey. And our guest today from the Headstrong Foundation, that's what the Head Strong Foundation was put in place for. It really is to help people financially, emotionally, and even through residential support as people, patients, and families go through this journey. And so they do an amazing work. And the other thing I found out, because Headstrong has its roots in lacrosse, there's a lot of connection to D2. So I think we're gonna hit on that when we bring them in.

SPEAKER_00 4:41

Well, let's bring them in then.

SPEAKER_04 4:42

Let's

HEADstrong Foundation and Flagler Lacrosse

SPEAKER_04 4:43

do it. All right. With us tonight, we've got some great guests, like I said earlier on the intro with Danny. First up, Pat Callori. Did I get that right, Pat? Ah, thank you. Of the Headstrong Foundation. Danny and I are terrible with names. We screw them up all the time. Uh so Pat, welcome. And and obviously, we wanted to talk about the connection with D2, and we brought along Coach Brian Duncan, head coach of Flaggler. Hey coach, how are you?

SPEAKER_02 5:13

Doing great. Thanks for having me on tonight.

SPEAKER_04 5:15

And a very special player of Tacman for Flagler, Luke Burton. Hey, Luke, how are you?

SPEAKER_00 5:20

Good, how are you doing?

SPEAKER_04 5:22

Great to have you.

SPEAKER_00 5:23

Welcome to the show. We really appreciate you guys coming on and special, special evening, special evening for sure.

SPEAKER_04 5:30

So, Pat, why don't you start us off? I kind of gave a little bit of intro before you came on on somewhat of the mission of Headstrong, but kind of go through the origin of Headstrong if you want for a little bit. Give our audience kind of a sense of how it got started and what the mission is. Sure.

SPEAKER_05 5:47

The Hedstrong Foundation was the brainchild of my younger sibling, Nick, who founded the organization in wake of a terminal cancer diagnosis going back to 2005. He was a student athlete at Hofford University, and he was diagnosed with a very aggressive blood cancer just a few short weeks into his sophomore year and was forced to withdraw from school to come home to begin his treatment journey. At that time, our family wasn't really familiar. We had no genetic lineage to cancer. Um, and quite honestly, we were blindsided. Um, my brother Nick, at the time of his diagnosis, um, was realizing his childhood dream of playing with our youngest sibling, Michael, uh, at Hofstra. So they had played for Coach John Donowski uh and Joe Amplo at Hofstra on Long Island. And uh, we were a family from the gritty blue-collar suburbs of Philadelphia. And um it just uh the opportunity to, you know, live a dream, if you will, was something that just came on the backs of a lot of great people. Um and uh Nick was forced to withdraw from school. The doctors diagnosed him with mature B cell non-Hodgkins lymphoma in a rather uh latter and aggressive stage. Um, unfortunately, he didn't respond to treatment. And um doctors thought that Nick would live for three months. He battled for 14 and uh from his hospital bed, conceptualized the resource that he wished existed for us. I think a lived experience of gaps in care, specifically in how taxing it was on our family, both um financially, uh emotionally, and in the latter part of Nick's journey residentially, as we found ourselves far from home. Um, throughout Nick's journey, he was not only living these challenges, but his he was concerned for the well-being of our family. And um at a certain point we hit a financial wall. And um, you know, during his 14-month journey against cancer, um before a time of social media existed, the lacrosse community really um supported him and our family. Uh, little things that started out as care packages and letters of encouragement were just really validating for him.

unknown 8:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 8:02

For Nick, I think he understood that he had he had a community behind him. Um, and it was a community that could be mobilized in a way to be able to relieve families of the hardships. And uh, you know, at a certain point in time, when we met a family living out of the parking garage of the hospital at the University of Pennsylvania, we started to question um, you know, why certain things didn't exist for families, and more importantly, like what was the breaking point? And we didn't understand at the time just the commonality uh of how unplanned for debt contributed to major financial setback, oftentimes leading to bankruptcy, home foreclosure, et cetera, and just how prevalent uh and common relocations were in pursuit of treatment. I think that the general consensus was that, you know, hey, everybody has advanced care in their backyard, everybody has the best treatment. One would think that until they're dealt a situation in which they're they're they're told that, you know, unfortunately there is a specialist, or you do have a rare cancer, um, or you do have an advanced cancer, and uh the treatment options for you are limited, uh and if not far from home. And so this was the lived reality of our organization. Nick conceptualized foundation uh called Headstrong, which was his nickname and his attitude. Um and uh and a lot of the things that we still carry forward 20 years later uh were really things that he was concerned about. Uh Nick was always a solutions maker. He was just a dynamic student athlete, someone that just had another level to him, um, tenacious on the field, but just a huge heart, a glue guy in the locker room. Um, but somebody that always believed that his cancer fight could help other people, and um was very much about not only addressing shortcomings, but creating tangible solutions, welcoming sports media into the hospital room, chronicling his journey, um, and really just embracing a team philosophy and mindset to helping families in real time with real solutions.

SPEAKER_04 10:12

That's simply amazing. Uh, I I didn't talk about this before. I think I told you, Pat. Um, I had my own cancer journey that uh I was blessed to get through stage three melanoma and also blessed of where I was living at the time. I was active duty Navy, but in the DC area. So I had uh Navy Bethesda at the time, now Walter Reed, and then NIH across the street for treatment. And you are right. Many, many, many people do not have that luxury. And oh, by the way, because I was at NIH, I wasn't paying for the experimental treatments, which so many other people have to when they go through it. So I I guess my next question for you, Pat, um, and then I'd like love to bring in uh coach and Luke. What is kind of the reach of Headstrong? Are you up in the Northeast? Do you reach out farther beyond that? How do how do you find families? Do they come to you? How does that actually work on a day-to-day basis?

SPEAKER_00 11:14

How how's it grown from the beginnings to now? Like, you know, take us through that as well.

SPEAKER_05 11:20

I mean, 20 2026 marks a major milestone for our organization in two decades of impact. Um, to answer the question about um how people learn about the organization, we've had the privilege of serving more than 41,000 families from more than 50 states. Um, and in doing so, uh, working hand in hand with more than 38 health systems across the country, uh, when you provide the services in which we do, which are really financial relief, emotional coaching, residential support through Nick's houses, um you know, there's not many organizations out there that are that direct, that immediate, and that tangible. Um, and so we really pride ourselves on being accessible to families and so a combination of things, right? Um, families and communities that we've had the privilege of serving, healthcare systems that we've had the opportunity to work alongside of and complement their services, right? Um, in addition to that, um when you are providing this level of support, there's no shortage of demand. And so um very authentically, very organically, we have built our service mission with the focus of immediacy and accessibility. I tell people all the time it's it's it's real solutions in real time for real families. It's that simple. And it's not and it's not complicated, it's showing up for people when they need you. Right. And it's being accessible and it's delivering financial relief, and or it's welcoming the family to a country, uh, you know, to a part of the country they're foreign to in hopes of a more favorable outcome. Um, it's essentially greenlighting patient journeys forward and then alleviating the the hardships, the barriers to entry, if you will, to the best care possible. And so our services are national. Um we have certain medical destinations, uh, for instance, Philadelphia, Boston, and Durham, North Carolina, that uh really require our presence with Nix Houses because of the national patient demand. They're destination hospitals facilitating um different clinical trials and advanced treatments. And so uh those homes are lifelines to families. And um, so yeah, to your point about formative years, from the moment that sadly we lost Nick, there was just um a very organic movement that was focused on celebrating his life and helping to hold our family up. Um, I honestly believe in my heart that Nick created Headstrong just as much in part to help families, but it was to help our family navigate life without him in it, right? Um that's why I've always looked at the foundation as a true gift. Um, we started out very organically, very transactional, uh, before social media, before uh e-commerce, before uh digital giving, uh we were bootstrapping it. We were at lacrosse tournaments, we were telling the story, we were building bridges and connections to different events. And as the game was continuing to grow, it was our responsibility to create ways that connected in the most authentic and endemic of ways. And we said yes to a lot of things. We were told no by a lot of people, you know. But the reality was is that we just kept trudging forward. It's certainly a journey of resilience and being relentless. And my mom says it best it's like um, you know, uh, we did hard, you know, in yeah, my parents' case, they had to bury a child. I mean, so getting an opportunity to share who he was and find ways that connect. And, you know, over the course of 20 years, it's really been relationship oriented. It's how we're talking now. It's my relationship with guys like Coach Duncan, those things brokered introductions to Luke Burton. I mean, it's like very, very organic and real. And um, I think that for Headstrong, uh, everything that we have done comes back to not only Nick's original vision, but how we can show up when it matters most and deliver on tangibles um by really just harnessing the athlete in all of us. Um, I always say I think athlete athletics in general is such like a microcosm of life in that, you know, uh you need a team, right? And that team mindset is so critically important when you're going through life's adversities. And on the flip side of that coin, um, I think that the world in which we're in, which is really in the trenches with cancer patients and families, can be really a negative place. And I think that how we counterbalance that is through the positivity of team sport. And I think that Coach Duncan can really elaborate on, you know, something that happened with Luke, and Luke will get into it too. But I guarantee you that what he'll share is how it united his guys in the utmost ways. It takes the most difficult of circumstances to bring out the absolute best in people, and so we've really pushed the threshold through events, club teams, tournaments, events, listening to our sport and coming up with ways that people feel a sense of true personalization and belonging to Headstrong. And at that same time, we match that with impact that's tangible that people feel part of. It's creating a community, is what it is. And um, so anyway, so that's the magic of this organization. It's not complicated, it's just being present and really understanding how to bring out the absolute best in people because of a sport that we love so much.

SPEAKER_04 17:12

Well said. Uh yeah, I love that. I I'll tell you as you were speaking, I was getting chills, to be honest. Chills on building community and and and the way you connected it uh and relationships. And and Coach Duncan, I saw you as Pat was talking nodding up and down. Like you obviously have been connected with Headstrong and Pat and the program for a long time. Why don't you start off with that? Like, how does that connection happen? And then how do you did you translate that and what you do at Flagular and coaching, and then what had what Luke had to deal with or has to deal with?

SPEAKER_02 17:48

Well, you know, I I met Pat when I was at Essex um back in my junior college days, and uh I knew him from you know that 2005 season when everything happened. Um so I've I've kind of been in connection with Headstrong for a long, long time, just you know, lost that uh coaching position there for many years that I was in the flux of of trying to find my way back into being a head coach. And um then I got back here and then I had to go through a situation last year where you know it was it was interesting. Our team came back last year with a team that we thought we were gonna play with. And you know, it started in December when Luke had to call and you know had to make the the the hard phone call and tell me that he couldn't come back and what he was gonna have to deal with. And obviously I've dealt with some players at JU that have dealt with you know cancer, and um it's a tough situation. And so obviously I went numb a little bit when when the when the phone call came. Um, you know, I told I told Luke that he's a champion and you know that this program's been built with you know a slogan that we've used since day one, which is adversity breeds champions. And I said, Luke, this adversity is gonna bring the best out of you and make you the champion you are. And and it's obviously what is happening to him, you know, he's been through something extremely hard, and Pat got involved. And you know, before Pat got involved with Luke, Luke was very quiet and scared and quite isolated is probably the best word, and uh didn't know what to think. He was devastated, you know, he wanted to be with his teammates, and instead he had to spend the the spring in at Johns Hopkins and you know, family commitments and family sacrifices and just all the things that we had to you know endure from a distance that that you know he was enduring on a daily basis. And it was it was hard for the boys, you know, all his friends were were very involved in in staying in touch with him. And you know, when when Pat got involved and and he he gained a confidence, it's it's interesting. He he felt, you know, he told me at one point, he said, I he said, Coach, I I became part of a community um that helped support you know my fears and my thoughts, and you know, it allowed me to concentrate on on what I wanted to do, and that is I wanted to beat the situation I was in. And so, you know, we just kept encouraging him, we kept reaching out to him. We would, you know, call him at in the at the beginning of a game and and when we were warming up and I'd have the FaceTime on and I'd let the guys, you know, you know, we would always yeah, he was always there encouraging us to to do our best. And you know, last year was a very, very weird year. You know, we had seven starters out the entire season, and so we had to plug that with freshmen that we had brought in, and and then we ended up having our best season that we've ever had. So it was I thought that was fueled a lot by what we were we were given energy by by Luke. And I don't think Luke even realizes you know how much of an influence he had on a whole group of young men that were fighting for him. And you know, I'm wearing one of his shirts right now, the LB26. And uh that's that's one of the slogans he had was you can't beat me. And uh, and and that's something that's amazing, you know. He's LB26, and you know, we got him back on our team, and he's back here, you know, doing warm-up and doing our all the stick drills. He's not in contact yet. We're trying to, you know, allow his body to continue to heal up and through. And so we're we're we're trying to step in his way because I know he wants to jump out there and play right now.

SPEAKER_00 21:10

Of course, of course.

SPEAKER_02 21:12

He's shooting the ball like you missed.

SPEAKER_04 21:13

He's missed the whole season. He has gotta be itching to trying to get out there.

SPEAKER_02 21:20

Well, you know, and and and honestly, you know, losing a guy like an LB 26 last year. I mean, Luke, Luke was a guy that we thought was gonna come back and be an all-American, and you know, we go into our first game, and the guy that we were gonna play next to him breaks his hand. And so we were out two all-American candidate type, you know, attackmen from day one, and we just had to dig in, man. We had some losses early that we had to kind of learn from, and there were one goal losses that hurt, but you know, we got better, and a lot of that's because of Luke. And uh, you know, we just had to keep digging in for him because we knew he was digging in for us.

SPEAKER_04 21:55

That's that's amazing. Luke, I I want to turn to you, kind of walk us. Through that, how much you'd like to about being diagnosed, going through, especially at your age, such a scary situation. And then, like Coach said, right? Really being isolated from what you want, where you want it to be, and going to, I I don't think you live in the Baltimore area. So you have to go to Johns Hopkins. Yeah. And then talk about your connection with Head Strong and Pat.

SPEAKER_03 22:29

Yeah, so from the initial time that I found out what I had and the diagnosis that I was given, I immediately just felt like I had no, like I had no future in front of me. Like I had no nothing else was guaranteed, no more lacrosse school. Yeah, I was just kind of really unsure about everything. And then also the type of person I am, not really like a loud person. Duncan knows, like I'm not that guy on the team who's like screaming, coming out. Like I'm more of like, like I I'll get fired up with the guys, but I'm not that loud, like coming in, not that guy. So again, like I it was hard for me to reach out to people because that like my thoughts were I don't want to bring people down based on what I'm going through. Like I kind of need to deal this on my own and figure this out on my own and not bring other people into it. Because it's just a sad kind of situation I was in. Yeah. But going through this, it kind of forced me to develop this new personality. Like I need people in my life, and also people need me in their lives too. And it was kind of a hard pill to swallow for me because again, I don't want people like feeling bad for me and being like, oh, I'm so sorry. I want people to like kind of what Duncan said out, I fired a bunch of people up to come out, have like a breakout season. I needed that kind of motivation that I was helping people even though I wasn't there. And because I wasn't there, I felt like I didn't have a place on the team. It was just kind of like a hard spot I was in. Especially not having to deal with anything like this throughout my life. Yeah. Just to be one day everything changes.

SPEAKER_04 24:18

As you went through the season and had those conversations, those FaceTimes, did that start to change? Did you start to feel um that your presence was helping the team? Or and and maybe just as much you being able to talk with the team, help you in your situation? Because at least it was something. It wasn't being on the field, but it was it was you still being connected with the team.

SPEAKER_03 24:47

Yeah, so I remember, I actually remember the first game of the year, Duncan FaceTime me, and they're playing Ember Riddle, and I was in my garage on this like um stationary bike, and I see Duncan FaceTiming me. And in my head, I'm like, oh man, like I don't want them to see me like this. Like I have no hair on my head, like I want to be there so bad. So I was like debating whether just to ignore the call or answer it. And in my head, I was like, I'm going through this, I can't be alone. I need the support of people, I know they need me. So I answered the call, and I just see everyone like all fired up, everyone's flying around, they're shooting, and it was just great to hear their voices too, like just like reassurance that everything was gonna be okay, like talking to Duncan, realizing that like they didn't forget about me, like I was still a part of the team, like I still had a place in this world. Like there was no, like I wasn't just being forgotten about. Like I still had a place and a special part on that team.

SPEAKER_00 25:50

That's what's so great about the game of lacrosse and and the lacrosse community. They really come together when they have to, and they do it for their own, and they do it like no other, no other sport that I know of. I I I was involved in football and basketball in my day, and they don't do it like lacrosse does. Uh, Luke, uh, I'm sure that was a dark and scary spot to be in. How did you come across the Headstrong Foundation? Take us on that little journey.

SPEAKER_03 26:20

So there was a player on our team last year, um, Wade Lehman. Yeah, oh yeah. Yeah, Wade. Great guy, yeah, goalie. And um, he reached out to me, just like checking in on me, asked how I was doing, and was like, you heard the Headstrong Foundation. And like, I've of course I've played against their team at Ocean City. I've seen them all over like social media and stuff. And he was like, Yeah, this guy, Pat, like, you should get it, I'll give you his number, you can get in contact with him, like it'll be great. And I remember a week later, I got Pat's number, we were texting, he gave me a call, and we talked for over an hour. And this was in the very beginning stages of it, so I was very like scared, confused. And Pat just explained the whole Headstrong Foundation, how it came about, what happened with his brother, and all these things that they do on a day-to-day basis to help families and people like me. And it just was like I had a I was on another team, I was on like the Headstrong team. Yeah, and it just there's just no words of how like special that was. That's amazing.

SPEAKER_04 27:30

Uh Pat, so you you I'm sure you get these kind of calls all the time, right? Uh the emotional support, and like you said, it part of it is, and this is what I got from you when we talked last spring. Part of it is just answering that phone and being there for that person. Can you explain when you first kind of were talking with Luke and how you maybe did you know how much you were helping him when you were talking to him? That that was my hope.

SPEAKER_05 27:59

Um, you know, we we we try to really be personal. We know what it's like to have to make those decisions, walk in those cleats, right? We we know what it's like to be vulnerable. Um, we are very transparent with um with things. And at the end of the day, I think that um there's a common denominator, right? Uh let's just say lacrosse being one of those things where you know you won't find uh a bigger enthusiast uh of our sport than me, right? And I've been around the game a really, really long time. And um, with that being said, you know, um it's been so special over these many years to work with so many people where the relationships are personal. For instance, we talk about Wade. I I knew Wade when he was 10 years old. Um, you know, there's another teammate, Will Lenko, who, you know, I've known since he was in second grade. I mean, so these are long-standing relationships. And I think like, you know, coming into things, I wanted to be able to like connect with Luke on a very uh authentic way to help him understand like one of the many blessings of our sport is the interconnectivity of our community. That everybody is a phone call away, and everybody's willing to answer that call. Um, you know, as I got to learn a little bit more about Luke's situation and we connected dots further, I was also realizing that, you know, Luke's treatment journey was actually taking him far from home. And that was a reality that our family faced too.

SPEAKER_06 29:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 29:43

Um, you mentioned NIH earlier um through your personal journey. Um, that is where my brother Nick underwent his clinical trial. And so when we were most leveraged, we found ourselves living out of a hotel room, right? Um, I knew that reality of being away from home. I also knew the struggle that Nick experienced of um of losing his identity, if you will, and how strongly and hard Coach Donowski and Coach Amplo worked, and eventually Steph Tierney worked to keep Nick connected to his team. And so early on, before I even talked to Luke, Duncan I had a conversation, and it was like how to be the best coach he could possibly be, and how he could be the best support system he could be to Luke. And as we got to learn more about things, showing up is a big component of our mission. And you know, when Luke was receiving his first chemo infusion, um, I actually said to him on a call, I said, Um if if you're up for it, I'd like to come and visit. And he said to me, You would do that? I said, totally. And I drove down from Philadelphia, I spent a day with Luke and his family in a hospital room and just really um, you know, was authentic. I cannot begin to tell you how many people that we've made that commitment and promise to. Athletes that have got the opportunity to ring the bell and return to the field, and I've made that commitment to them to show up when they had the opportunity to. I can think of a dozen players I've done that for over the years. But just having conversation and really, you know, becoming that person that Luke could depend on and truthfully, even talk about things that um that you know, for any young person that's going through cancer, Luke talked about it earlier. It's that it's jarring because everything that you know and everything that you've prepared yourself for is completely spun on its axis, and in a way, you know, you're disconnected from reality. Yeah, and it's a mental journey too. You know, you're going on social media, you're watching, you know, life continue on while you're sitting in a hospital room. I mean, it can literally be defeating. And so just over the course of the months, I would share a lot of what Nick went through, not so much the physical, because he understood what it was like, but I think where I think Nick, you know, where where Nick's uh the lessons that I absorbed as an older brother living alongside of my brother and being a caregiver and being an older sibling was just that's kind of how I think my approach to Luke was brotherly. It was um, and that's kind of how we've played things. So it's been you know an amazing relationship forged out of a difficult situation. And I think if anything, I consider Luke just like I consider Coach Duncan true teammates.

SPEAKER_00 32:56

That's fantastic. Luke, how are you feeling now? I feel really good, feel amazing. How long, how long tell us what your treatments were like, and how long did you have treatments for?

SPEAKER_03 33:09

So I had 14 treatments that spanned over almost eight months. Wow. And I had radiation, I do 30 radiation treatments, which also took a little over a month in the in between. And they didn't get easier. No, the more you do, they don't get easier, that's for sure.

SPEAKER_04 33:30

I've got you right there, Luke. I'm with you 100%, buddy. Yeah, that's one thing I thought was they build on each other, they build on each other. They really do more wearing, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 33:42

And I initially thought that the first one was gonna be the worst, which as I can remember, it was pretty bad. But I thought they were gonna keep getting easier and easier. And I remember talking to actually Chad Palumbo, yeah, who played at Princeton and just graduated. He was like, he just told me straight up and was like, Man, it's it's they're hard, they suck. Each one sucks, but each one that you do, that's one less. And that was just kind of my mentality throughout the whole process of just one more each one I did was one less I had to do. Right. And like Pat kind of said it.

SPEAKER_00 34:18

Yeah, that mentality. And yeah, you now you have this community of you know, people kind of going through the same things through the Headstrong Foundation. How did that help you along mentally as well as physically, I'm sure? It was huge.

SPEAKER_03 34:34

I mean, like Pat kind of said it as much as it sucks physically, the mental aspect of it is just ten times more draining on you. Fucking imagination. Like you think all these things on a day-to-day basis, you feel all these things, you see all these things, and each day just it just drains you mentally. And having an organization like Headstrong is kind of like this little person in the back of your head saying, like, people have done this, people are here for you, you can talk to people, there's always gonna be someone there for you. It just kind of allows you to continue through each day.

SPEAKER_00 35:09

And you play for the Saints, so there you go, you know. So what's your says something like that? You know, how cool is that? If Coach, you know, calls you up before the game, shows you the guys, hey, look at him. Yeah, that's amazing, and it's great to be part of that. Now you're back at school now. Yes, I am. So you're back at school, you get to throw around with the kids, you can't get on the field just yet.

SPEAKER_02 35:34

Oh, he's on the field. He's got yeah.

SPEAKER_04 35:37

So, coach, what like uh I'm uh we said that, or I said earlier that Luke is probably raring to go. You've got to be raring to go to get him in uh full contact. I know you're gonna do it the correct way, knowing you, but where Luke was as a player for you, and what the I mean, uh and what he's gone through. What a Luke, you have got to be a testament to your team and how you beat adversity. And like Coach said, you're a champion. What do you what do you say to that, Coach Duncan? What how I bet you're just like can't wait to see him on the field full time.

SPEAKER_02 36:16

You know, Luke embodies what we are as a program, our culture, who we are. You know, we we like soft-spoken guys that are willing to kick your butt when they get inside the white line. And you know, we like guy, you know, we tell guys all the time, man, we want you to come out and be an animal when you cross the white line and get inside the field, a controlled animal. But we also want you to come back across that white line and become a gentleman. And you know, Luke kind of embodies all that. Like he's an he's a pure animal when he plays the game, but he doesn't say two words, you know. I've heard him talk more tonight than I've heard him talk in the three zoning. So um good sign. And you know, he came back and you know, the guys asked me, they said, Coach, you know, Luke just called us and he wants to be a captain. And I said, What? He wants to be a captain, and I said, Yeah, I'd I would love to have Luke come as a as a captain. And and now he's like he's learning how to speak to to his peers, and he's learning how to kind of share the experiences that he's had now, and he's kind of showing the resilience that our team needs and wants in order to accomplish the goals that that we've set forward. So he just embodies everything. And you know, Luke is one of my favorite players, and I think that's what hurt the most, you know, when he called last year. I cried and he cried, and you know, we just we both kind of went down that path, but it was because of the feelings I have for who he is. He's a he's a hundred percent a champion of a person. He comes from a great family, you know. He lived in Delaware, which is just north of where I grew up. And uh, you know, I just I just felt so comfortable in the recruiting process with him. And you know, I was just so glad that when he said yes to come to to play for us when you know we we were struggling to try to get quality players to come here and build this program, and he came at the right time. And and you know, I just can't wait to see him score the first one that he's gonna put in, and then it's gonna turn into a a repeat you know pattern for him.

SPEAKER_00 38:03

I'm excited to watch it too, coach.

SPEAKER_04 38:06

I can't wait. I can't wait to see you on the field, Mr. Burton. Thanks for playing the game that you love. Uh I remember we I remember talking about you on the podcast, as a matter of fact, back when you were playing, because you were you were so good back then. Uh and I'm sure you'll just carry it back on. Pat, I have to ask you a question. We talked about this a little bit. There are things that are going on. Can you talk a little bit about some events that are coming up that are kind of connected to D2? I think there's one in Tampa in a couple weeks.

SPEAKER_05 38:36

Yeah. Um, so just uh on Halloween, actually, on October 31st, uh there is uh an event at the University of Tampa. And um it's a Division II event. It's part of our Hedstrong Fall event series now in its uh 20th year. Um this this year, uh marking our 20th year of the organization and our impact. Um it's been 11 events across 10 sites, across all divisions, across men's and women's sports that has engaged more than 48 schools and programs, right? Um, and so um these this series essentially runs the entire Eastern Seaboard uh in all the major markets. And our last stop is in Tampa. So uh it's St. Tampa, St. Leo's, um Florida Southern, um and um and Embry Riddle. Um and they're gonna be playing in an event, and there's a philanthropy component to it. Um, and uh that's really, really exciting. So uh again, uh a great.

SPEAKER_04 39:40

Can people come out and and can people come out and you know watch, participate? Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 39:46

Yes, sir. That's awesome. Um, yeah, that's gonna be at the University of Tampa on Saturday, October 31st. Um, and um there's an admission proceeds supporting the mission. Um, we're actually going to be uh celebrating the life of Matt Miles of Bradenton, Florida, who was treated um in Tampa. We lost him uh last November, and um he was a dad just like you guys. And um he had uh four great kids. Uh his youngest, Mason, was uh aspiring is an aspiring lacrosse player. Um this is a guy who, much like you guys, did not play the game growing up. He was originally from Kentucky, uh, fell in love with the sport, actually taught himself how to play lacrosse just to bond with his kid in the wake of having cancer. And um, you know, we developed a very personal relationship. And, you know, the interesting thing is that um we don't ever, you know, like we meet lots of people that we have the honor of serving, but there are so many people that we don't meet in person, but built just really solid relationships with, right? Matt was one of those guys that I literally coached through cancer for a year and a half um and had conversations with him about everything. Um, you know, one of the last photos he sent me was him inpatient at the hospital undergoing a clinical trial with his hospital bracelet on next to his headstrong one. And um, you know, I look at that and I'm like, wow, I'm like, you know, that's the level of love and support uh that works both ways. There's that connectivity of even in a time where I never met somebody personally, um, we we we built that relationship. And I think that that's one thing that is so consistent about everything that we do. It's just about, you know, we can't change the fact that cancer exists in our world, but we can build relationships and we can coach families through and we can give them resources that wouldn't exist otherwise. And, you know, and and and it's about, like I said, in some way, shape, or form, showing up. So in this case, you know, we're actually going to remember Matt Miles uh and rally around his family, giving them something really cathartic and positive because they're going through a tough time right now. Oh, yeah, trying to process the loss of a dad, um, and and and and they're coming up on a one-year milestone, which, you know, anybody that's experienced loss, and we all have, um, that's always the hardest, you know. So trying to, you know, uh be a support system to them uh during that time. And um, yeah, we're just about a week and a half away um from welcoming our first guest families. We're actually expanding our philanthropic footprints south. Uh, we we actually operate large multifamily homes for cancer patients and families to stay at no expense. They're called Nick's houses, and we have homes in the mid-Atlantic, New England, and now we're actually opening up three multifamily homes, uh, a concept called Nick's House Village in Durham, North Carolina, right off campus at the Duke Cancer Institute.

SPEAKER_04 42:52

That's amazing. That's just amazing. The amount of just that support, having a place to stay as a family and not being burdened with trying to find reservations and paying for hotels. And it's that's just an amazing gift, along with what you do financially for a lot of families. Those two things in a lot of ways help emotionally, I bet. You know, that just having that a little bit of that relief takes one more burden off for families and patients going through that.

SPEAKER_05 43:26

I mean, a sad reality, we met families living out of their cars in the parking garage of the hospital when Nick was sick. When we were most financially leveraged and vulnerable, we had to relocate to Washington, D.C. to pursue a clinical trial to try to extend or save Nick. Um, that alleviated a lot of regret knowing that we did everything. And over the years, like we said to ourselves, you know, we can't be everything to everyone, but these services are the breaking points for most families. It's the decision that's rather, you know, it's almost Like you know, you're not given a whole lot of time to make these decisions. You know, your back's up against it. And do you continue forward? Well, with 40% of the cancer population traveling for treatment and over 35% eventually foregoing treatment because of the long-term feasibility of it, those were the areas that we needed to create tangible and plausible solutions to. And so we've operated Nick's houses since 2011. Um, and we've had the honor of providing more than 35,000 nights of complementary housing at no expense. Um that to me is an amazing thing, right? Yeah, because that welcomes families from all over the country to these key destinations and holds the rope. And the concept is a team approach. You know, you're living with other families in a very beautiful setting um that is cathartic in and of itself, but you also have a community woven within the frame of the uh uh the the homes. Um, and what that does for people is just constantly validate that they're not alone, and it's just it's it's so special. Uh, in fact, we uh we have a Division II Wingate University lacrosse family under our roof in Philadelphia right now in Scott Deerdorf.

SPEAKER_00 45:21

Yep. Yeah, I mean he just spoke wonderfully on Instagram. I saw his story. Um, his son Sam played with my son Joe at Wingate. Um, they're teammates for four years. Uh great family, it's a sad story, but you know what? He spoke wonderfully of what they're doing there at the Headstrong. And he got to, you know, he's in Philly, you know, he's not he's like three hours, I think, from Philly. So he stayed at the house and was able to help him and his family. And like again, he spoke wonderfully.

SPEAKER_05 45:53

Scott's got yeah, Scott has the same diagnosis as Nick, being treated by Nick's physician.

SPEAKER_04 45:59

Wow. I mean that that's like just the connections are are it it shows you how small this world really is and how much relationships and connecting really needs to be in a lot of ways. You said better than me, Pat, tonight. I have to say though, if uh Luke really is gonna be the captain, I'm gonna let him have the last word here on this podcast before we say goodnight. Luke, what would you want to say to someone you around your age that may have to go through the same thing and get the same sort of diagnosis? Is there some something you would like to say to kind of give them words of encouragement or or or things to think about? Uh that's kind of what I was wondering if if you would like to share that.

SPEAKER_03 46:49

Someone that is going through what I went through?

SPEAKER_04 46:51

Or just got diagnosed. Same sort of thing.

SPEAKER_03 46:55

I would uh first of all, I'll just start off with telling them that everything's gonna be okay and to think positive. And that if you ever if there's ever a time that you're doubting yourself to reach out to someone immediately, don't try to like take it on all by yourself. Don't try to just like be alone and think about everything all like don't look at everything as as one big thing of just like negativity. Reach out to people, talk to people, tell yourself every single day that you're gonna be good, you can do it, and yeah, it's just it kind of trips me up a little bit thinking about talking to someone going through this. I understand I wouldn't it's hard to watch people go through it, and I've had to, and I could see it in your face, you know.

SPEAKER_00 47:51

I could see it in your face just watching you. It's a difficult situation, no doubt.

SPEAKER_04 47:56

I never it's a club you never want to be in, Luke. It's a club you never want to be in.

SPEAKER_03 48:01

And I hope that I don't have to talk to anyone about going through this, but I know that I will, and I'm more than happy to, because I know for me that was a huge part of my treatment journey and everything I went through.

SPEAKER_00 48:14

Well, like you said, and what coach said, you're not a very not a big speaker, but I'll tell you, you spoke volumes tonight, young man. I really appreciate I really appreciate you coming on tonight, coach. You as well. Uh continued success there at Flagler. You guys kick butt all the time and what you do as a coach. I've always liked what you do at Flagler. I've said to Kevin from the very first day, this man's a coach, he's a good coach, he's a player's coach, he's got that team, you know, hitting on all eight. And then he's got a special bond with these kids that sometimes coaches don't have, you know, they just go out there and they coach, they collect that paycheck. But, you know, Coach Duncan's got that bond with you guys, you know, and that's that's that's something that's special about him. And Pat, what you do, you know, I mean, I'm about to cry just listening to you. I mean, you're just a hell of a man in what you've done, and for all of these families, I mean, tens of thousands, and um, and you continue to be strong with the Headstrong Foundation and the lacrosse community, although growing and growing and growing, and particularly in Division II, it's a small community and they back each other up big time, and there's nothing like it. Pat, we really appreciate you coming on the show tonight. Um, continued success in everything that you do in the Headstrong. Next time you're on Long Island, hit me up. We'll go out and we'll have a high sea and uh a chicken wing and we'll talk. I'd love to, you know, chew your ear one day. No doubt. Thank you guys so much.

SPEAKER_05 49:45

Really appreciate you having us.

Shout Outs

SPEAKER_04 49:48

I I'm speechless, Danny. That was an amazing, amazing conversation.

SPEAKER_00 49:54

Yeah. Great, great conversation tonight, you know. The Headstrong Foundation and what they're able to do is uh nothing short of just amazing. Kev, I don't know what else to say.

SPEAKER_04 50:06

Yeah, I think the key thing is what they really accomplish for families going through the journey right now. And that is the toughest thing. I remember when I was going through it, I had my parts of my family come to help out as I was in the in treatment and my wife was with me. And there's just a lot of things that you there's a lot of stress that goes on, and the things they are doing to try to alleviate that for families is unbelievable. I really can't tell you how much I in my mind I know how much it helps those families.

SPEAKER_00 50:42

Yeah, I, you know, personally I've never gone through anything like that, you know, but I know people it's a it's a scary situation, and and then again, to go get treatment, and you don't live near a big city a lot of times. You don't have that kind of treatment, you know. Uh you're lucky where you live, I'm lucky where I'm live, I I I can get good treatment here. Um Luke, you know, lives in Delaware, had to travel down to Johns Hopkins to get treatment, and and you know, and Headstrong Foundation was able to give him a place to stay, a place to go, a place to see other people going through what he's going through, place where he can kind of relate back and forth, a support group. And you know what? In those kind of situations, Kev, as you probably know, you need a support group. You need someone to talk to, you know, that's going through it, maybe, you know, has gone through it and can kind of help you through. Because again, mentally it's a dark place. You're like, why me? Why, you know, what's it gonna be like? Yeah, I can only imagine. And here's a young man, and there's a young man who's kind of quiet, a quiet young man, you know, not an outgoing alpha type of guy, you know. He's kind of and and I I didn't want to go through it, but I had friends.

SPEAKER_04 52:00

I had a f a really good friend in in college that was going through cancer brain tumor, as a matter of fact. And half the problem is when you're at that age, when you're 18 to 22, you're invincible, not many people if you have a friend going through it or you know someone, it's very tough to it's very tough to communicate. Yeah. Because you don't know how to communicate, it's not something you've dealt with before. And I think the fact of Coach Duncan facetiming, and he didn't do it, wasn't it? It had to be a one-on-one, so it was Luke with one other person because that's where the difficulty is. It was his community, his team with him. That's cool. Made such a huge difference. And I think that I think that was one of Luke. Luke at that age, well, I don't want to bring people down, you know. I don't like you already, he said it. I don't want to talk to someone to bring them down and have to pull them into what I'm doing. That is a real a real thing. And and I it's just that's why I think a place like Headstrong Foundation and what they do for emotional support can really help help alleviate some of that.

SPEAKER_00 53:05

Yeah, I agree. It was great to have them on. It was a great show tonight. It was awesome.

SPEAKER_04 53:10

Yeah, so with that, Danny, I don't anything else to say. I think the only shout out is for people to to go to look at Headstrong Foundation and see how they can support.

SPEAKER_00 53:19

And go to the merch store, Kev. Oh, yeah. In the Creased CrossPadcast.com and go get your merch. You know what? People are buying merch. I see some uh they're starting to do we gotta yeah. See some movement going on there. If you want to wanna buy us a cup of coffee, you can buy us a cup of coffee on uh in the creased lacrosse podcast dot com as well. And uh, Kev, good night tonight. Fun and interesting.

SPEAKER_04 53:44

Yep, and with a Danny, that's a wrap. That's a wrap, Kev.

SPEAKER_01 54:03

Oh my boy Luke. And that's a rat.